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At its most basic level, kink refers to unconventional sexual preferences or behaviors, including the six components of BDSM a refresher: bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, and masochism , says sex therapist Veronica N.

Your brand of kink might be sex with multiple partners at once; it might be having your partner secretly use a remote control vibrator on you while you're out with friends; it might be light choking.

If you're unsure about what you kinky preferences are, licensed sex therapist Vanessa Marin suggests easing your way in. You don't. Before springing bondage gear on your partner, discuss your boundaries and desires, and make sure you're on the same page about what you're both down to try, she says.

And don't forget to come up with a mutual safe word. Say it with me now: Consent is sexy. So now that you're familiar with the basics, you might be left wondering how exactly to dip your toe in rougher waters.

Depending on what you like, the first step might be as simple as adding a few simple maneuvers to your erotic menu.

These 12 positions for kinky sex are a great start and pretty much guarantee a next-level orgasms. For people who are just starting out, Marin recommends this classic: "Probably the easiest position to try is doggy style because it already feels like a little more animalistic position and lends itself really well to spanking, hair-pulling, and things like pinching the nipples.

Do It: Kneeling on all fours, have your partner enter you from behind, either while they're standing and you're stationed on the bed, or they're on their knees behind you.

Same-sex partners could consider a strap-on or just use fingers for penetration. Either way, try roughing things up by smacking butts.

This position gives your partner easy access to both holes sorry for the bluntness , while the angle allows partners to go in deep. Be prepared to get loud.

Then if you're into it, consider upgrading to anal beads or a butt plug. Do It: With your partner sitting on the edge of the bed—or couch, or kitchen chair—position yourself on their lap with the tops of your thighs pressed against theirs and your legs stretching behind their back.

Lean forward with both palms on the floor and have them insert a well-lubricated finger into your butt while they enter you from behind with their penis or strap-on, maybe pulling it out just as you're on the brink of orgasm.

Now it's time for you to take the reins: The cowgirl presents an optimal opportunity to dominate your partner, an easy way in to full-on BDSM. Before you straddle them, maybe blindfold their eyes with a silk scarf or tie.

With their consent, you can also tread into bondage territory. Either way, this position puts you in charge, so experiment with tweaking or twisting your partner's nipples, or—if you have a male partner—grabbing his balls.

Do It: Straddle your partner at their pelvis, pushing off their chest and sliding up and down their thighs.

Lean back, hold their wrists down With your hands out of play, your partner is free to roam your body, finding the erogenous zones you know, those hotspots that feel extra delicious neither of you may not have discovered before your foray into kinky sex.

It can be a tad challenging, but Chin Hing-Michaluk recommends this position to engage with your partner's entire body.

Do It : Get into a partial bridge position like a pinball machine , with your weight resting on your shoulders. Have your partner tie your hands to the bedpost or headboard, then let them enter you from a kneeling position.

You can also experiment with sucking toes or upping the kink with a vibrator. Give the toy over to your partner, lay all the way back, close your eyes, and let them take control Do It : Sit on the bed with legs toward one another, arms back to support yourselves.

Now move together until your genital touch. Your hips will be between their spread legs, your knees bent, and feet outside of their hips and flat on the bed.

Now rock back and forth. The Cross-Booty is a standout lie-down? Trust, some are. Do It : Have them lie across your lap, with your hips tipped up so they can enter you.

Clit-to-clit, strap-on, P-in-the-V Just looking at this sex move feels kinky, no? Even though kinky sex has a lot of benefits, and even though it can be whatever you and your partner want it to be, there are still a few things you should keep in mind so that your explorations are fun, safe, and positive.

Part of your fantasy might involve restraints or resistance — which is more common than you might think among women. To make sure you can say no in your fantasy world, but still have a way to clearly say no to your partner, use a safe word you agree upon before you get kinky.

The default phrases you can use are red light stop and green light keep going. Everyone has different limits and boundaries. A big part of kinky sex is mixing pain and pleasure.

Countering this with aftercare, which incorporates emotional intimacy and communication, is important, especially for BDSM.

It can be as simple as seeing what happens when you break from your regular bedroom routine and enter a new world of sex.

The core tenets of successful kinky sex are similar to those of any strong, long-term relationship:. Go forth and get naughty. Sarah Aswell is a freelance writer who lives in Missoula, Montana, with her husband and two daughters.

You can reach out to her on Twitter. Talking about sex can be awkward. But it's also a key adult skill.

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With their consent, you can also tread into bondage territory. Either way, this position puts you in charge, so experiment with tweaking or twisting your partner's nipples, or—if you have a male partner—grabbing his balls.

Do It: Straddle your partner at their pelvis, pushing off their chest and sliding up and down their thighs.

Lean back, hold their wrists down With your hands out of play, your partner is free to roam your body, finding the erogenous zones you know, those hotspots that feel extra delicious neither of you may not have discovered before your foray into kinky sex.

It can be a tad challenging, but Chin Hing-Michaluk recommends this position to engage with your partner's entire body.

Do It : Get into a partial bridge position like a pinball machine , with your weight resting on your shoulders. Have your partner tie your hands to the bedpost or headboard, then let them enter you from a kneeling position.

You can also experiment with sucking toes or upping the kink with a vibrator. Give the toy over to your partner, lay all the way back, close your eyes, and let them take control Do It : Sit on the bed with legs toward one another, arms back to support yourselves.

Now move together until your genital touch. Your hips will be between their spread legs, your knees bent, and feet outside of their hips and flat on the bed.

Now rock back and forth. The Cross-Booty is a standout lie-down? Trust, some are. Do It : Have them lie across your lap, with your hips tipped up so they can enter you.

Clit-to-clit, strap-on, P-in-the-V Just looking at this sex move feels kinky, no? The top partner is in complete control—with a little help from a friend called gravity—whereas the bottom partner is basically twisted into a sexy pretzel.

The dominant partner should tend to the submissive partner. To turn it up, have your partner dribble chocolate syrup or something sweet into your mouth to light up even more of your senses.

Do It : Lie on your back with your legs raised and folded over so that your ankles are on either side of your head, while they squat and dips their penis, strap-on, or fingers in and out of your vagina.

Exercise your storytelling skills with role-play, setting up a scene that ultimately leads to lying face down, says Chin Hing-Michaluk.

Under-the-bed restraints or using a pillow under the hips can also amp up the experience. Standing sex isn't easy, but it sure is kinky as hell.

And the Stand and Deliver takes it up a notch, with your partner grabbing your hands and more or less dominating your body.

All the blood rushing to your head in the bent-over position—plus the fact that your vaginal walls tighten in this stance—can seriously add to the intensity.

To make it kinkier, use a tie or cuffs to restrain the wrists and ankles, says Chin Hing-Michaluk.

And you can try this out anywhere exhibitionism, anyone? Do It : With both of you standing, you bend over at the waist; your partner enters you from behind.

Let them grab your wrists and loosely or as tightly as you like it , and let your partner control the motion as you pull them into you. Did you really think I'd get through a kinky-sex roundup without including the one and only Reverse Cowgirl?

This position is naturally kinky, because it gives your partner a full and blessed view of your backside as you ride them, and they can reach around to touch your clitoris, breasts, belly button, butthole, inner thighs Feeling extra adventurous?

Dabble in anal play with a remote-control plug. Do It : Your partner lies on their back; you straddle them, facing their feet.

So simple! Do It : Standing on one foot, face your partner and wrap your other leg around their waist while they help support you.

Look at your living space as a playground. The truth is that at least some of your friends have probably tried it — and one out of five make it part of their regular play in the bedroom.

According to the Sexual Exploration in America Study , more than 22 percent of sexually active adults engage in role-playing, while more than 20 percent have engaged in being tied up and spanking.

Perhaps more surprising? Hear the science out first: Kinky sex could help you feel better and be more mentally healthy.

A study found that both dominant and submissive practitioners of BDSM were:. They also had higher subjective well-being compared to the control group.

This could mean two things: That people with these traits are attracted to kinky sex, or that kinky sex can help you grow and gain confidence.

But the latter is very probable, especially as we research more about the effects of kinky sex. For example, a study from found that couples that engaged in positive, consensual sadomasochistic SM activity had lower levels of the harmful stress hormone cortisol, and also reported greater feelings of relationship closeness and intimacy after their sexual play.

While specific types of kinky sex often appeal more to one sex than the other — for example, more men are interested in foot fetish play, while more women are interested in experiencing pain as part of sex — both men and women want to explore kink about equally.

In mainstream media, BDSM is often associated with abuse and violence. Some practitioners have even faced persecution and discrimination because of their kinks.

But studies show that the average person who engages in consensual kink has above-average psychological health.

The image of a leather-clad dominatrix wielding a matching whip might jump to mind when you think of kinky sex. If you enjoy certain fetishes or want to explore the world more thoroughly, there are definitely stores for that.

Even though kinky sex has a lot of benefits, and even though it can be whatever you and your partner want it to be, there are still a few things you should keep in mind so that your explorations are fun, safe, and positive.

Part of your fantasy might involve restraints or resistance — which is more common than you might think among women. To make sure you can say no in your fantasy world, but still have a way to clearly say no to your partner, use a safe word you agree upon before you get kinky.

The default phrases you can use are red light stop and green light keep going. Everyone has different limits and boundaries.

A big part of kinky sex is mixing pain and pleasure. Countering this with aftercare, which incorporates emotional intimacy and communication, is important, especially for BDSM.

It can be as simple as seeing what happens when you break from your regular bedroom routine and enter a new world of sex. The core tenets of successful kinky sex are similar to those of any strong, long-term relationship:.

Go forth and get naughty. Sarah Aswell is a freelance writer who lives in Missoula, Montana, with her husband and two daughters.

You can reach out to her on Twitter.

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